I gave my first talk in sacrament meeting this last Sunday! I hadn't spoken in church since I was 19 years. This was definately a surprise for me when I got the call, but I was secretly happy. Nervous, but also excited. I love challenges anyway, but I really feel like I have moved to a point in my life where I can honestly believe what I spoke about and truely benefit from the feelings I discovered while preparing this.
"As children in primary, we are taught the first principle and ordinance of the gospel is Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.
As youth we learn to “Walk by Faith” as we begin to dip our feet in the values of the gospel and prepare for a mission, college, marriage and all the fun that comes with graduation.
As adults, we exercise our faith through trials and tribulations that naturally come with careers, marriage, children and life in general. Trials and tribulations that can easily test our true faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. Trials and tribulations that can falter the basic principles of the gospel if we are not prepared for them. In the May 2009 Ensign, Henry B. Eyring wrote, “…distress can shake faith in the reality of a loving and all-powerful God. And if unchecked, those feelings can lead to loss of faith that there is a God at all.”
For those who don’t know me yet, I’m Sister Díaz and I have three beautiful children in primary.
Dylan is my oldest and starting middle school next month. He is very artistic and loves creating detailed drawings of words, pictures and patterns. As many of you have noticed, he has a genuine love for little children. He is patient, kind and sincere with them, attributes I wish he would exercise with his own younger siblings. He has a unique ability in making people feel confident about themselves. He is always complimenting me when I try to critique myself, helping to build my esteem by his kind words. Dylan is preparing himself for his priesthood calling in January when he turns 12 and is very anxious to go to the temple with the youth.
Ashley is my only daughter, 10 years old and about to start her last year in elementary school. She is very creative and crafty and enjoys writing musical lyrics or just snuggling up to a good book. She is the genius in our family and loves a good challenge. Last year she was the ‘facts master’ champion in her math classroom, breaking many of the school records for having the fastest time. She has the gift of truly understanding the concepts of the things she is taught and is very logical. She grasped the missionary discussions immediately and loves to re-teach them to us at Family Home Evening. Ashley patiently waited two years to be baptized and taught me by example that having faith will lead us to Christ.
Christopher is my little Peruvian child, secretly bilingual in English and Spanish, 6 years old and about to start 1st grade. He insists on dressing himself and growing his curls out to an afro, so don’t hold his appearance against me! He is quiet amongst strangers and was talking for almost a year before his Aunt Jenny ever heard his voice. But don’t let that fool you. Christopher is one of the funniest kids I’ve ever encountered. His humor is outrageous and he loves to joke around ALL THE TIME but also has a reverence that can stop a train. He is always eager to volunteer when given the opportunity to say the prayer at home, and, as the missionaries can attest to, he enlightens us on how powerful a child’s prayer and faith can really be.
I am Elizabeth, aka Betsy to some of you, and the youngest of the Eastman clan. I have 6 older brothers, 2 older sisters, even more in-laws and over 30 nieces & nephews. Many of you knew my mother Janet Eastman as well as my sister Jennifer Fryer when she lived here and have since been graced with the company of my brother Mike Eastman and his lovely wife Clarissa. I grew up in Broken Arrow, mingled in and out of various boundary changes throughout the stake, was in and out of the Spanish branch during the first few years of my marriage and have lived in this ward with my children for over 6 years.
Our family has been touched greatly by the power of faith. My children have learned the gospel through recent missionary discussions, discussions that have also re-taught me the basic principles I had learned throughout my lifetime. But faith…faith is something that has inspired us as a family. Faith is something that I have personally gained a new understanding of.
In Alma 44:4, he writes, “Now ye see that this is the true faith of God; yea ye see that God will support, and keep, and preserve us, so long as we are faithful unto him, and unto our faith, and our religion; and never will the Lord suffer that we shall be destroyed except we should fall into transgression and deny our faith.”
My father was very active in the church when I was a child and youth and my older brothers were all privileged to have him as their seminary teacher for years. He served in the bishopric for a while and I always looked up to him and the example he showed his children. Even when he decided to stop attending church 16 years ago, I still admired him and have continued to seek his counsel and go to him with my heartaches and troubles. He always counsels me with his knowledge of the gospel and steers me toward the church. He expresses his comfort in knowing that I am where I need to be, doing what I need to be doing, and raising my children in a faithful home again.
How many times have we gone to our parents for advice, help and comfort? Parents, how many times have your children asked you for guidance? I am 32 years old and I still go to my father with my tribulations. From infancy to death, we rely on our parents, we develop and nurture our relationships with them and we learn to trust them. As children we learn to succumb to their obligation of parental authority and as youth we test this authority, eventually surrendering unto them. So why is it so difficult to surrender unto our Heavenly Father? Do you lack the faith that he will guide you? Do you lack the faith that he knows the desires of your heart? Do you lack the faith that our Heavenly Father has the authority to ask you to come unto Christ?
According to the basic gospel teachings, “Faith is a principle of action and power. Whenever we work toward a worthy goal, we exercise faith. We show our hope for something that we cannot yet see.”
My children may never understand me, just as I never understood my parents. They will never know why I fight for them every day. They will never understand how much happiness they bring to my life and they will never fully appreciate the pain and stress they put me through on a daily basis. They may never appreciate just how much I love them, but they will always know that they are loved. And as I look into their faces, I see their beautiful smiles, their glowing spirits, their secret admiration they have for me. I see myself on so many levels and I want to help them. I want to help them grow into healthy adults, watch them choose a worthy spouse, admire as they learn from my parental faults, and I want to teach them make choices that will always bring them back to me.
Our Heavenly Father adores us and is waiting for us to return back to him.
Moroni writes in 7:42, “Without faith there cannot be any hope”.
I often think of the poem Footprints in the Sand. “You promised me Lord, that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me? The Lord replied, The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you.”
Brothers and sisters, our Heavenly Father knows our hearts. He knows our weaknesses and he knows our strengths. He will never give us more than we can bear. We all have our own personal trials but trust me when I tell you that he will never, ever give us more that we can bear. My mother was famous for quoting to her children, “And this to shall pass”. Brothers and sisters, your trials, my trials…they will all pass if we put our trust in the Lord. He will not falter. He will not lead us astray. He will not give up on us and we can not give up on Him.
“Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee.” (Ps. 55:22)
Faith is not hoping everything turns out the way you want it. Faith is putting your trust in the Lord, knowing that he will take care of you. Faith is an understanding that the Lord will look out for your best interest, not just your desires. He knows the desires of your heart, but if you put your trust in Him, he will not fail you. This can be a very challenging concept, believe me, I know! Life changes and sometimes our turmoil feels like more than we can bear. But our Father in Heaven has made promises to us that if we are faithful, he will provide for us, protect us and never lead us astray. We all have personal challenges where we simply have to stop, recognize and put it faithfully in the Lord’s hands.
In 2nd and 3rd Nephi we learn that “the Lord will work mighty miracles in our life according to our faith. Faith in Jesus Christ helps us receive spiritual and physical healing through His Atonement”. In Helaman we learn that “when times of trial come, faith can give us strength to press forward and face our hardships with courage. Even when the future seems uncertain, our faith in the Savior can give us peace”.
I haven’t spoken in sacrament meeting since I was in the single’s branch in Yakima, Washington about 13 years ago. When I heard my voicemail asking me to speak about Faith, I laughed. I laughed because this is the one concept I have struggled with the most over the last four years and also the one concept I have relied upon the most over the last four months. I have learned to depend on my faith to get my children and me through our current tribulations. I can attest that each time an obstacle has occurred, I have received an immediate solution. Immediate. Not necessarily with our material needs, but with the needs I constantly pray for. Needs I never even asked for. The needs I surrender to my Father in heaven. I am not exaggerating when I say that I no doubt that my Heavenly Father knows me. He knows what is best for my family and He is continually watching over us.
I know that our Heavenly Father lives. I believe in the atonement of Jesus Christ. I acknowledge every day the foundation my parents gave me and I desire to provide this same foundation for my own children. It is never too late to choose the right. It is never too late to endure to the end. Increase your faith and your blessings will be endless. Put your faith in Him and he will gladly accept you with open arms.
Brothers and sisters, set aside your sins, repent unto the Lord and have faith. Have faith, as I have, that he will guide you. Have faith, as I have, that he will not lead you astray. Have faith, as I have, that he will protect you and your family. Have faith that by living the simple elements of the gospel, he will lead you back to his presence.
In the name of Jesus Christ, amen."
Tuesday, August 02, 2011
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Sisters by Heart
In my bathroom rests a classic ivory vase, once belonging to my mother. It holds her gravesite flowers and stands tall in the center of my window. To the left are two young statuettes standing with one's hands inside the other, Sisters by Heart, given by my oldest sister. To the right is an alabaster figurine with two young ladies doting on opposite sides of their older sister, all holding hands waiting to dance, a gift to my mother from her sisters. One recent afternoon I walked in my bathroom and found these ladies dancing on my closet door. The trees were gently blowing outside, causing the sunbeams to bounce around through the window, resulting in a silent ballet of shadows. This enchanting image brought tears and warmth as I sat in awe and watched my mother dance with her sisters again while mine silently comforted me. I witnessed a true reflection of love, unity, and innocence. A reflection of sisterhood.
Mindy is my ‘twinkie’, or so I am hers. As my oldest sister, she loves the savior and is my example, everlasting and enduring, my secret inspiration. Growing up, I never knew of her faults, her grief, her trials, her pain. I only knew a sister who adored me. When she came home to visit, she always made me feel as if I was the one person she came to see. She taught me to crochet and inspired me to be creative. She spent personal time with me and when she returned to her home, she always sent me birthday cards or letters and I always knew she cared. My sister taught me of marriage and motherhood through subtitled photos of her own growing family. She spoke often about being a mother and I always knew her joy in being a wife. As I grew older, I learned that my sister did have faults, trials, and tears. My sister had fear and regret and heartache. And although she seldom expressed these emotions, my sister finally became real to me, and I admired her more. Mindy never talked badly of my trials, she never looked down on my consequences, and she never let me fall without a place to land. Throughout my adult years, I have learned to laugh with her about our mother's habits that we have reluctantly received and I have learned to cry with her about our personal failures within our own growing families. Mindy has comforted me through personal depressions, through life-wrenching choices, and through the loss of our mother who had only recently become my closest friend. Mindy is my light, my shield, my angel and my comforter. Mindy is my unwavering sister.
Jennifer is my newest and longest best friend. She is my rock and my pillow, my trusted ally, my sealed diary. As my sister closest in age, she taught me of relationships, of trust, of devotion. She understood my burdens, both severe and childish. She guided me through life and as children, she held the master key to our future. Without her, I surely would have crumbled. She showed me the art of ‘trash digging’ and how to safely climb down our chimney and onto our roof, although I never succeeded with the latter. She would embarrass me at times, but also recognized my horror on those mornings when her slumber party woke up before me. She didn't gripe much either when we slept on our uncomfortable 'air mattresses', even though it was my fault, and she even learned to stop complaining when I came home with a spot every time I borrowed her clothes again without asking. She taught me about fashion and makeup and when my hair broke off from an over processed perm, she was there to comfort me with an illustrated birthday card. We rivaled and loved, yelled and comforted, and in the end, she moved to the attic. Yet I was still welcome. When my mother was on vacation, Jennifer was there to take me on my first tampon run, explaining the pros and cons, making me feel excited about my new found maturity. Jennifer is my big sister and knows her role well. She is my soul mate. She is the woman I trust with all my guilt, my home away from life. She is my absolute.
Many times I have turned to my sisters for advice, comfort, or a good laugh. We have endured childhood together and are continuously trying to endure motherhood as well. My sisters have picked me up and carried me throughout my life without complaint and have succeeded in mastering my devotion to them. They have taught me to become the woman I am. Our mother showed us that respect and friendship are the keys to sisterhood. I believe in eternal families and am forever grateful to be sealed to such remarkable women. They can call me Betsy, Baby Betsy, Betsy Wetsy, or Elizabeth. Whichever they choose, I am honored to be their little sister. I look forward to spending the rest of our lives in friendship and hope to always dance together when we are old and fragile.
Mindy is my ‘twinkie’, or so I am hers. As my oldest sister, she loves the savior and is my example, everlasting and enduring, my secret inspiration. Growing up, I never knew of her faults, her grief, her trials, her pain. I only knew a sister who adored me. When she came home to visit, she always made me feel as if I was the one person she came to see. She taught me to crochet and inspired me to be creative. She spent personal time with me and when she returned to her home, she always sent me birthday cards or letters and I always knew she cared. My sister taught me of marriage and motherhood through subtitled photos of her own growing family. She spoke often about being a mother and I always knew her joy in being a wife. As I grew older, I learned that my sister did have faults, trials, and tears. My sister had fear and regret and heartache. And although she seldom expressed these emotions, my sister finally became real to me, and I admired her more. Mindy never talked badly of my trials, she never looked down on my consequences, and she never let me fall without a place to land. Throughout my adult years, I have learned to laugh with her about our mother's habits that we have reluctantly received and I have learned to cry with her about our personal failures within our own growing families. Mindy has comforted me through personal depressions, through life-wrenching choices, and through the loss of our mother who had only recently become my closest friend. Mindy is my light, my shield, my angel and my comforter. Mindy is my unwavering sister.
Jennifer is my newest and longest best friend. She is my rock and my pillow, my trusted ally, my sealed diary. As my sister closest in age, she taught me of relationships, of trust, of devotion. She understood my burdens, both severe and childish. She guided me through life and as children, she held the master key to our future. Without her, I surely would have crumbled. She showed me the art of ‘trash digging’ and how to safely climb down our chimney and onto our roof, although I never succeeded with the latter. She would embarrass me at times, but also recognized my horror on those mornings when her slumber party woke up before me. She didn't gripe much either when we slept on our uncomfortable 'air mattresses', even though it was my fault, and she even learned to stop complaining when I came home with a spot every time I borrowed her clothes again without asking. She taught me about fashion and makeup and when my hair broke off from an over processed perm, she was there to comfort me with an illustrated birthday card. We rivaled and loved, yelled and comforted, and in the end, she moved to the attic. Yet I was still welcome. When my mother was on vacation, Jennifer was there to take me on my first tampon run, explaining the pros and cons, making me feel excited about my new found maturity. Jennifer is my big sister and knows her role well. She is my soul mate. She is the woman I trust with all my guilt, my home away from life. She is my absolute.
Many times I have turned to my sisters for advice, comfort, or a good laugh. We have endured childhood together and are continuously trying to endure motherhood as well. My sisters have picked me up and carried me throughout my life without complaint and have succeeded in mastering my devotion to them. They have taught me to become the woman I am. Our mother showed us that respect and friendship are the keys to sisterhood. I believe in eternal families and am forever grateful to be sealed to such remarkable women. They can call me Betsy, Baby Betsy, Betsy Wetsy, or Elizabeth. Whichever they choose, I am honored to be their little sister. I look forward to spending the rest of our lives in friendship and hope to always dance together when we are old and fragile.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
The Benefits of Radio Addiction
July 14 (morning) - 2 Gretchen Wilson front section concert tickets, one night hotel stay, and a $50 gift card.
July 14 (afternoon) - 2 Cori Morrow tickets I gave away because it was the same night as the Gretchen Wilson concert.
July 20 (via internet contest) - Free Jiffy Lube oil change.
July 31 (morning) - 4 Wiggles concert tickets and 4 White Water Bay or Frontier City tickets.
August 7 (morning) - 2 John Legend and India Arie concert tickets.
August 7 (afternoon) - 3 complimentary McDonald's new Angus burger certificates and a grill utensil/apron set with the McDonald's logo on it.
August 11 (morning) - 2 Chris Isaak 2nd row concert tickets.
So I've had a nice streak of luck lately. I've always listened to the morning radio shows on my way to and from work and occasionally try to call in for a contest and win a prize. But this last month it became an addiction. All of the above were won on different radio stations, except for the internet contest, which I won two days after picking up a previous prize from them. I called either in the morning (usually on my way to work) or on my way home from work. Occasionally I won more than once in a day and twice while on my way to claim another prize. The day before the Paul McCartney tickets went on sale, one of the stations had a quiz contest for a pair of front row tickets. I found the answer and called a few times before it rang. Four people before me were wrong and by the time the last person won, I realized I had been calling the wrong station!! However, I'm pretty sure that I would have won if I'd been paying more attention because of all the wrong answers and the 20 minute stretch from when the contest began. Maybe not, but it's funny to think about.
I listen to the radio all day at work, but I'm not allowed to call in while there, so all of this is strictly done from my car or while getting ready in the mornings. Yes, I've taken it a little too far, but hey, who can blame me?? Thanks to one of the country stations, my husband and I had a mini overnight vacation out of town at a luxury hotel with a kick-butt concert and fifty bucks to spend how we pleased! I gave a co-worker something fun to do with his wife one weekend with my other set of tickets. I brought an old friend with me to the last concert and had a blast and look forward to another one next week! I took my kids to see The Wiggles, which the younger two thoroughly enjoyed and I get to take them to a huge theme park or water park to give them a fun weekend break from school! I also got lucky enough to get an extra $10 credited to my GAP account when I called with an innocent complaint, which allowed me to get an extra pair of jeans today for my boys, but that has nothing to do with the radio--I just wanted to throw that one in there.
So will I stop anytime soon? Well, not cold turkey, but I might back off a bit. Then again, there is always a good concert in town now that we have a big enough arena to invite the big artists, and I'm too cheap to actually buy tickets. Besides, my 30 days is fast approaching when I can claim another prize on the better stations again!
July 14 (afternoon) - 2 Cori Morrow tickets I gave away because it was the same night as the Gretchen Wilson concert.
July 20 (via internet contest) - Free Jiffy Lube oil change.
July 31 (morning) - 4 Wiggles concert tickets and 4 White Water Bay or Frontier City tickets.
August 7 (morning) - 2 John Legend and India Arie concert tickets.
August 7 (afternoon) - 3 complimentary McDonald's new Angus burger certificates and a grill utensil/apron set with the McDonald's logo on it.
August 11 (morning) - 2 Chris Isaak 2nd row concert tickets.
So I've had a nice streak of luck lately. I've always listened to the morning radio shows on my way to and from work and occasionally try to call in for a contest and win a prize. But this last month it became an addiction. All of the above were won on different radio stations, except for the internet contest, which I won two days after picking up a previous prize from them. I called either in the morning (usually on my way to work) or on my way home from work. Occasionally I won more than once in a day and twice while on my way to claim another prize. The day before the Paul McCartney tickets went on sale, one of the stations had a quiz contest for a pair of front row tickets. I found the answer and called a few times before it rang. Four people before me were wrong and by the time the last person won, I realized I had been calling the wrong station!! However, I'm pretty sure that I would have won if I'd been paying more attention because of all the wrong answers and the 20 minute stretch from when the contest began. Maybe not, but it's funny to think about.
I listen to the radio all day at work, but I'm not allowed to call in while there, so all of this is strictly done from my car or while getting ready in the mornings. Yes, I've taken it a little too far, but hey, who can blame me?? Thanks to one of the country stations, my husband and I had a mini overnight vacation out of town at a luxury hotel with a kick-butt concert and fifty bucks to spend how we pleased! I gave a co-worker something fun to do with his wife one weekend with my other set of tickets. I brought an old friend with me to the last concert and had a blast and look forward to another one next week! I took my kids to see The Wiggles, which the younger two thoroughly enjoyed and I get to take them to a huge theme park or water park to give them a fun weekend break from school! I also got lucky enough to get an extra $10 credited to my GAP account when I called with an innocent complaint, which allowed me to get an extra pair of jeans today for my boys, but that has nothing to do with the radio--I just wanted to throw that one in there.
So will I stop anytime soon? Well, not cold turkey, but I might back off a bit. Then again, there is always a good concert in town now that we have a big enough arena to invite the big artists, and I'm too cheap to actually buy tickets. Besides, my 30 days is fast approaching when I can claim another prize on the better stations again!
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
My Newest Discovery
I know I haven't posted in a while. Ok, it's been 6 months! Oops. Well, things have finally settled down here at work, which I must remind you is where I do ALL of my blogging from-hehe.
http://www.handipoints.com/
So in case you are wondering about the link I posted, first let me introduce you to my new, reformed children.
Dylan is my oldest and messiest child. He does not clean up after himself unless I ask him about 10 times. And even then it is best if I sit with him until he finishes, otherwise it just won't get done. At all. Ever. But over the last month, he has semi-consistently done the dishes, cleaned up the living/dining room, swept the wood floors, and even picked up his room---well sort of. He picks up 'his part' of the room after only 5 or 6 requests. But hey, it's still an improvement.
Ashley is my middle child and only daughter. She likes to help out with everything but has massive mood swings. When asked to clean her room, she picks everything up and puts it on her bed, on a shelf, in her closet, or against the wall. As long as the middle is clean, she considers it clean. But when you walk into her room, it looks like something exploded and spattered against the walls. But at least she attempts without many requests and sincerely considers it clean. As far as the rest of the house this last month, she has done great in keeping everything picked up and even cleans the bathroom counters and mirrors for me.
Christopher is my youngest and by far the laziest child I've ever encountered. He likes to play in the living room, dining room, hallway, or my bedroom-anywhere except his own room. He will even sit in his room and stretch his arm out into the hallway to play, knowing it's a crime. When it comes time to clean up his mess, he is famous for pawning his toys onto the nearest sibling or insisting the toy belongs to somebody else or just flat out ignores the request. He also likes to bring drinks and food onto the brand new wood floor and make little messes and then whine about needing help when asked to clean it up and bring it back into the kitchen. He stays up later than his older siblings by coming out of his room asking for a drink every 10 minutes and finally snuggling up next to Super Papi, knowing that his daddy won't make him go back to bed anytime soon. But over the last month, well...not much has changed, so let's just apply this link to the older two.
My friend introduced me to Handipoints through her blog. It is a website designed to create task charts and in return for completing a task, points are awarded. Each child gets their own account and can have a variety of the same or different chores than their siblings. There are tons of tasks to add or you can even create your own custom ones. The point is that you get to make up the chart any way you see fit for your family and/or each individual child. You can even make different types of charts. My kids each have three charts.
The first is for chores. I have a variety of daily things such as making their bed, pick up toys, put clothes in hamper, etc. It also has things they do a few times a week. I have my older two rotating days on things outside their bedrooms. When one has to unload the dishwasher, the other gets to load it and it's the opposite the next day. Get it? And for Christopher, well he gets to help clean the living room with one of the older kids and has a few small chores such as dusting and cleaning the hallway.
The second chart is for hygiene and the third is for behavior. My kids hate brushing their teeth and will go a week without doing it if I'm not on their case about it. The same goes with showers. Although they enjoy taking a shower, they always forget. So now that they have a schedule and get points for it, they actually brush their teeth now! And Christopher has things added to his to help motivate him to get himself dressed in the mornings and in his pj's in the evenings. But again, this works on the older two the best. The behavior chart hasn't been looked at too much, but the threat is still there when needed. On this one, they have positive points for good behavior and negative points for bad behavior, which includes whining at the store and throwing tantrums. Hmm, bet you can't guess who those tasks are for?! lol
So the way it all comes together is that each kid can go online and put a check on the tasks they completed. Then I log onto mine and grade what they checked. The closer they get to an A+, the more bonus points they get. But if they check something they didn't do, they lose points for being dishonest. In the end, they get to use their points towards specified goals we all made up. They get to see what goals are available with the points they have as well as the progress of the higher goals, in which case they can choose to save their points until one of those becomes available. I also have goals for allowance. If they wish to use them for money, they have to have 100 points in a week to get $2, or 65 points for $1 for Christopher. Regardless, they get certain privileges according to how many tasks they achieved. Bottom line--the more they clean, the more goals they get.
My husband commented the other day that the house has stayed cleaner recently and more consistently. Aha! And with a big smile, and inner satisfaction, I credited the good progress toward the kids. Oh, and I forgot to tell you that it's all free! You can always upgrade and pay money, but why pay money for something that works so well??!! And that my friends is how it is done in my home! Now I think I might make up a chart for myself to remind me of the things I need to do!
http://www.handipoints.com/
So in case you are wondering about the link I posted, first let me introduce you to my new, reformed children.
Dylan is my oldest and messiest child. He does not clean up after himself unless I ask him about 10 times. And even then it is best if I sit with him until he finishes, otherwise it just won't get done. At all. Ever. But over the last month, he has semi-consistently done the dishes, cleaned up the living/dining room, swept the wood floors, and even picked up his room---well sort of. He picks up 'his part' of the room after only 5 or 6 requests. But hey, it's still an improvement.
Ashley is my middle child and only daughter. She likes to help out with everything but has massive mood swings. When asked to clean her room, she picks everything up and puts it on her bed, on a shelf, in her closet, or against the wall. As long as the middle is clean, she considers it clean. But when you walk into her room, it looks like something exploded and spattered against the walls. But at least she attempts without many requests and sincerely considers it clean. As far as the rest of the house this last month, she has done great in keeping everything picked up and even cleans the bathroom counters and mirrors for me.
Christopher is my youngest and by far the laziest child I've ever encountered. He likes to play in the living room, dining room, hallway, or my bedroom-anywhere except his own room. He will even sit in his room and stretch his arm out into the hallway to play, knowing it's a crime. When it comes time to clean up his mess, he is famous for pawning his toys onto the nearest sibling or insisting the toy belongs to somebody else or just flat out ignores the request. He also likes to bring drinks and food onto the brand new wood floor and make little messes and then whine about needing help when asked to clean it up and bring it back into the kitchen. He stays up later than his older siblings by coming out of his room asking for a drink every 10 minutes and finally snuggling up next to Super Papi, knowing that his daddy won't make him go back to bed anytime soon. But over the last month, well...not much has changed, so let's just apply this link to the older two.
My friend introduced me to Handipoints through her blog. It is a website designed to create task charts and in return for completing a task, points are awarded. Each child gets their own account and can have a variety of the same or different chores than their siblings. There are tons of tasks to add or you can even create your own custom ones. The point is that you get to make up the chart any way you see fit for your family and/or each individual child. You can even make different types of charts. My kids each have three charts.
The first is for chores. I have a variety of daily things such as making their bed, pick up toys, put clothes in hamper, etc. It also has things they do a few times a week. I have my older two rotating days on things outside their bedrooms. When one has to unload the dishwasher, the other gets to load it and it's the opposite the next day. Get it? And for Christopher, well he gets to help clean the living room with one of the older kids and has a few small chores such as dusting and cleaning the hallway.
The second chart is for hygiene and the third is for behavior. My kids hate brushing their teeth and will go a week without doing it if I'm not on their case about it. The same goes with showers. Although they enjoy taking a shower, they always forget. So now that they have a schedule and get points for it, they actually brush their teeth now! And Christopher has things added to his to help motivate him to get himself dressed in the mornings and in his pj's in the evenings. But again, this works on the older two the best. The behavior chart hasn't been looked at too much, but the threat is still there when needed. On this one, they have positive points for good behavior and negative points for bad behavior, which includes whining at the store and throwing tantrums. Hmm, bet you can't guess who those tasks are for?! lol
So the way it all comes together is that each kid can go online and put a check on the tasks they completed. Then I log onto mine and grade what they checked. The closer they get to an A+, the more bonus points they get. But if they check something they didn't do, they lose points for being dishonest. In the end, they get to use their points towards specified goals we all made up. They get to see what goals are available with the points they have as well as the progress of the higher goals, in which case they can choose to save their points until one of those becomes available. I also have goals for allowance. If they wish to use them for money, they have to have 100 points in a week to get $2, or 65 points for $1 for Christopher. Regardless, they get certain privileges according to how many tasks they achieved. Bottom line--the more they clean, the more goals they get.
My husband commented the other day that the house has stayed cleaner recently and more consistently. Aha! And with a big smile, and inner satisfaction, I credited the good progress toward the kids. Oh, and I forgot to tell you that it's all free! You can always upgrade and pay money, but why pay money for something that works so well??!! And that my friends is how it is done in my home! Now I think I might make up a chart for myself to remind me of the things I need to do!
Monday, January 05, 2009
Unconditional
Nine years ago, for the first time, I felt true, unconditional love. You know, the love that engulfs every emotion, every thought, every worry about your life? The love that takes over your mind and never escapes. The love that keeps you up at night worrying and praying and hoping and growing. The love that makes you want to be better. That keeps you on your toes. That proves over and over again that absolutely NOTHING will make this love go away. And that no matter what this person does, ever, this love will always linger inside of you. It's a different type of feeling. The kind that makes you question yourself and what life means to you. It has you wondering if you are good enough to deserve this responsibility, this emotion, this love. And when you look into the eyes of this other entity for the first time, you just know. You finally believe in love at first sight. And it overwhelms you and then it settles. And life is never the same.
Nine years ago, it was my turn. Something I had always dreamed of and hoped for. Something I never questioned or wanted more. Nine years ago, my life changed and I fell hopelessly in love. I looked into his eyes for the first time and I just knew. I fell in love immediately. It was overwhelming and it spread through my entire body and mind. And life...well life was never the same. For the first time, I finally understood. I finally knew that it was my turn and that my life would forever have meaning. Nine years ago, I became a mother.
Nine years ago, it was my turn. Something I had always dreamed of and hoped for. Something I never questioned or wanted more. Nine years ago, my life changed and I fell hopelessly in love. I looked into his eyes for the first time and I just knew. I fell in love immediately. It was overwhelming and it spread through my entire body and mind. And life...well life was never the same. For the first time, I finally understood. I finally knew that it was my turn and that my life would forever have meaning. Nine years ago, I became a mother.
Friday, January 02, 2009
A GREAT RECIPE FOR THE NEW YEAR!
1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Talk to God about what is going on in your life. Buy a lock if you have to.
3. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'My purpose is to__________ today. I am thankful for______________'
4. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
5. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli , almonds & walnuts.
6. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
7. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, Issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
8 . Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.
9. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
11. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
12. You are not so important that you have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
13. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
14. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
15. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
16. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this really matter?'
17. Forgive everyone for everything.
18. What other people think of you is none of your business.
19. GOD heals everything - but you have to ask Him.
20. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
21. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch!
22. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
23. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: I am thankful for__________. Today I accomplished_________.
24. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
25. When you are feeling down, start listing your many blessings. You'll be smiling before you know it.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Talk to God about what is going on in your life. Buy a lock if you have to.
3. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'My purpose is to__________ today. I am thankful for______________'
4. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
5. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli , almonds & walnuts.
6. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
7. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, Issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
8 . Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.
9. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
11. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
12. You are not so important that you have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
13. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
14. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
15. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
16. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this really matter?'
17. Forgive everyone for everything.
18. What other people think of you is none of your business.
19. GOD heals everything - but you have to ask Him.
20. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
21. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch!
22. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
23. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: I am thankful for__________. Today I accomplished_________.
24. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
25. When you are feeling down, start listing your many blessings. You'll be smiling before you know it.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
My Personal Realization
I have come to realize that I do not have any close friends. Well, I have one who I've been a friend with since childhood, but even we don't communicate much anymore. I haven't always been like this. I used to be very social and had a few good friends that I would see regularly. We would hang out and let the kids play or we would pile all the children in one house with a sitter and go out as a group. It was fun and kept me in touch with the world. I don't know. Maybe marriage changed me. Maybe I just got too caught up in my life to realize that nobody was sticking around anymore. Or perhaps I just let those relationships fall. I don't know. Don't get me wrong-I still do stuff. I go out to parties occasionally or meet a friend for lunch-things like that. But I don't have anyone who I can trust to come rescue me when I'm overwhelmed with life. Sometimes a phone call just isn't enough. Sometimes I need to get out of the house, away from the kids and husband, and just hang out with somebody.
For 2009, I think I will start nurturing the relationships I have formed. I will follow up with those who I occasionally talk with and I will invite more people into my life. I will reestablish those bonds that have been dissolved and reconnect with old friends. I will be more social. So for those reading this, be prepared for some overwhelming love from me in the near future. But please, please help me out here too. I've secluded my self for quite a while now and it may be a struggle breaking away from it! In May, I want to celebrate my 30th birthday with real friends. With good friends!
For 2009, I think I will start nurturing the relationships I have formed. I will follow up with those who I occasionally talk with and I will invite more people into my life. I will reestablish those bonds that have been dissolved and reconnect with old friends. I will be more social. So for those reading this, be prepared for some overwhelming love from me in the near future. But please, please help me out here too. I've secluded my self for quite a while now and it may be a struggle breaking away from it! In May, I want to celebrate my 30th birthday with real friends. With good friends!
Monday, December 15, 2008
Salvador Marco Díaz Becerra
So my life has been a little unusual lately. Last Sunday, Dec. 7th, my father-in-law passed away from a heart attack. This obviously caught us by surprise and I watched as my husband got the call from his brother. I knew right away what happened. It's a weird feeling to see somebody you love hurting so much, especially when you can relate. I lost my mother several years ago and know how difficult it is, especially at our age. My husband and I are still in our 20's and in no way should loose a parent yet. But life happens and you have to learn from it.
My husband is very family oriented and has always stayed in close contact with his parents. He immediately started looking at flights and by 4:00 am, was on his way to the airport to fly to Peru. Yes, for those who don't know, my husband is from South America. He was born and raised in Lima, Perú, but has lived here for over four years now. His father, Salvador, was able to travel here this last summer for the first time since Sandro & I have been married. He met his new grandchildren and had a wonderful time with them. He tutored my older son in math and helped my daughter with her new baby doll. He spoke with my youngest son and felt joy in being able to communicate with him. Our youngest is the only one who knows Spanish, as my husband has spoken to him in his native language since birth. Their abuelito does not speak any English, so to be able to communicate with one of our children is a gift to him.
I am grateful for this man. He raised a wonderful son who brings so much happiness to my family. He taught him to be strong, to have goals, to want success, to love endlessly, to live the moment, to desire more, to apprecciate family. Thank you.
My husband is very family oriented and has always stayed in close contact with his parents. He immediately started looking at flights and by 4:00 am, was on his way to the airport to fly to Peru. Yes, for those who don't know, my husband is from South America. He was born and raised in Lima, Perú, but has lived here for over four years now. His father, Salvador, was able to travel here this last summer for the first time since Sandro & I have been married. He met his new grandchildren and had a wonderful time with them. He tutored my older son in math and helped my daughter with her new baby doll. He spoke with my youngest son and felt joy in being able to communicate with him. Our youngest is the only one who knows Spanish, as my husband has spoken to him in his native language since birth. Their abuelito does not speak any English, so to be able to communicate with one of our children is a gift to him.
I am grateful for this man. He raised a wonderful son who brings so much happiness to my family. He taught him to be strong, to have goals, to want success, to love endlessly, to live the moment, to desire more, to apprecciate family. Thank you.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Green With Envy
My sister-in-law danced with Edward. Yes, Edward Cullen. I am so jealous. She freaking danced with Edward Cullen! Did you hear me?!
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
The Moody Blues
I won tickets off the radio this morning to see this band in concert next week. One problem though. I don't know who they are. I recognize two of their songs and that's it. TWO. So help me out fellow bloggers. What songs are they famous for???
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