My Personal Realization

I have come to realize that I do not have any close friends. Well, I have one who I've been a friend with since childhood, but even we don't communicate much anymore. I haven't always been like this. I used to be very social and had a few good friends that I would see regularly. We would hang out and let the kids play or we would pile all the children in one house with a sitter and go out as a group. It was fun and kept me in touch with the world. I don't know. Maybe marriage changed me. Maybe I just got too caught up in my life to realize that nobody was sticking around anymore. Or perhaps I just let those relationships fall. I don't know. Don't get me wrong-I still do stuff. I go out to parties occasionally or meet a friend for lunch-things like that. But I don't have anyone who I can trust to come rescue me when I'm overwhelmed with life. Sometimes a phone call just isn't enough. Sometimes I need to get out of the house, away from the kids and husband, and just hang out with somebody.

For 2009, I think I will start nurturing the relationships I have formed. I will follow up with those who I occasionally talk with and I will invite more people into my life. I will reestablish those bonds that have been dissolved and reconnect with old friends. I will be more social. So for those reading this, be prepared for some overwhelming love from me in the near future. But please, please help me out here too. I've secluded my self for quite a while now and it may be a struggle breaking away from it! In May, I want to celebrate my 30th birthday with real friends. With good friends!