What Did You Say???

My husband told me yesterday that he wanted another baby. I was shocked. We had previously talked about it, but I thought we'd come to the conclusion that we weren't going to try, but if one came along, wonderful. We would be thrilled! I had two children from a previous marriage when we first met and then we had another one right away. I don't have the patience I thought I would have as a parent and I am scared to have another baby. Okay, not scared. Just worried. No wait, I'm scared.

I come from a huge family of nine. Most of my siblings average 4-6 children of their own. I don't know how my mother did it either. I don't know how they all do it. I would love to have a large family too, but I am also afraid that I will get so overwhelmed and fall apart. What am I saying?! I feel like that now sometimes!



Don't get me wrong. I love children and I love being a mother. I would be totally happy if I had more children. And I want more children. But I just can't get myself to plan for one. If it happens, wonderful! But I am too scared to try on purpose. I feel like a horrible person thinking this way. But then again, I like the idea of planning a pregnancy. Oh well. It's not like we're going to plan one right now. Just something to think about, I guess. Now, after everything I've just said, I kind of want to have a little one.

ps...no, the adorable baby at the top is not mine.